Making Friends on Social Media


The Top Five Know-How’s Making Friends on Social Media


With the world changing, and how less we've become to know someone in person, we are more involved to meet people online through social media. whether it be on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or if you're one of those who'd like to find that lost love through Tinder. The question is, how in the world do you make friends on social media? 

As a product of Generation X, I have adapted to the high demand to be digitally connected to the world of today, and not at all afraid of change, but as I grow older, I have noticed a few things: The number of friends begin to dwindle down to the ones whom you can count on with one or two hands, those whom you can trust, share stories of life experiences, and having similar interests that spark conversation on the daily. In return, the number of followers on social media are vast. From family, friends of the family, to your boyfriend/girlfriends family and friends, to people you don't even know, or people you have met a long time ago, but have no interests in hanging out, and finally, the ones whom you love to talk and leave snarky comments on their Facebook wall for the quick spur of the moment conversations from a status or photo meme that sparks up conversation, because it made you LMAO. That was a lot to say. Phew!

Sometimes, you can meet someone that you genuinely like to talk to online. Just as you would in the real world that you can just connect with. Although they are real people, with real lives, problems, jobs and a life as you would expect, but you just can't seem to trust them. Why? Could it be that you need a voice to connect to their profile photo to confirm reality, to confirm that calling instead of texts are more human than other forms of communication? Are emoji’s enough? The desire of hearing someone is meaningful. The tone of someone's voice can attract us to want to hear more, or not at all. In person, you can see a person’s body language, how they react to the things they love, or hate. We can tell a lot about someone if they have a strong handshake, they give good hugs, and how they introduce themselves in social settings, like dinner parties, family, and business events. Online, a lot is lost. Mostly because people don't understand and know how to express themselves through texts. Most are lazy and want instant gratification by using acronyms, one letter words to fill out a conversation and with no feeling with simply using exclamations 

Have the past horror stories from the news embed this into our fear sensors that scream to our flight response? Obviously, there are warning signs which people who want too much too soon. I have some stories that would make you want to go EEEK, but always give that person a chance. I’m not saying you have to bring down your walls, and let the whole world know what you do without a filter, but all I’m saying is, take a few minutes of your time to reply. From my experiences, I’ve compiled the top five know-how's making friends on social media.


1.       Respond Accordingly

Yes, the growing amount of instant gratification is a problem nowadays, because we need it better and faster with technology. Now with social media we see the three dots in iMessage, or that so-and-so is typing in the background makes us feel anxious. Even more so when they type, and they end up just deleting everything they said. The anxious you asks them, “Hey, what were you typing?” They’ll respond with, “I didn't type anything.” Obviously this makes you irate, because this is something you can't turn off in the settings of your phone from the app. You have to stay calm and realize, and give them the benefit of doubt that they might be at work, someone is calling them, maybe they had a family emergency, or they just had to hit the bathroom. Don't expect an answer on the fly. Give that person time to respond, and when they respond, wait a few minutes meaning 15-30 minutes to respond back. It's a healthy alternative instead staring at your phone biting your fingernails, and pacing back and forth. If it's an important conversation, call them. Texting works for short messages.


2.       Be Kind and Respond

We are all always fighting time every day. With busy work weeks, cooking every day, and chores around the house, we sometimes forget to respond to our friend’s texts, phone calls, or notifications on social media. This is definitely an issue when you're trying to make friends. You could try spending 30 minutes a day (varies from person-to-person) reaching out. Even if you hit that like button from their message, it's still showing interest. Something is better than nothing.  Replying back to someone means you're engaging and you're taking back time to respond. It could benefit you and them.


3.       Spark Up The Conversation

You don't necessarily have to say,” Hello, how are you?” in a private message, but on their status, or photo upload. There's less of a chance that they will feel a reason not to respond, but If you like a photo, or status posted, you might ask yourself how do I do this? For example, if someone post a selfie, and you think they look nice, say something less abrasive. You could say “Hey, you're easy on the eyes” or “You did a nice job on your makeup - what kind do you use?” Be personable, but not intrusive where you make someone uncomfortable. Another example is to engage what their status is about a topic you’re interested in. Respond honest and be yourself and share your thoughts by being respectful to others who have responded in the thread.


4.       Pay It Forward

It's always good to help someone out when they're in need. In a professional setting, or in personal life. Making friends is all about trust from being honest, getting to know them with their, happiness, and being there for each other when tough times arise. If you're friend asks for a favor, try the best you can to help them out.  It could be a shoulder to lean on, or it could be helping them study for their exam. At the workplace you can be on the same team and you have to help each other out. Of course there's a balance to that. It has to work both ways to be beneficial to everyone. It can't be one sided.


5.       Build Relationships by Having Fun

Here in the social media world, amateurs, and professionals are looking to grow their following with goals in mind. Looking for new friends, followers, and even new employees can help market your brand to expand their reach, but you may ask yourself, “How do I do this?” The Solution is to be yourself and never lie about what you're doing. You must remember that this platform is for recognition, and you don't want new followers to lose their interests. Make it exciting with stories that are honest, interesting, or even controversial. For example, photos with no insight is like handing a resume for that next great job with a blank sheet of paper. Explain the photograph where it was shot, how you felt while photographing that scene, or how you achieved that cool effect in Photoshop. If your status is just a bunch of hashtags, or a vague sentence, then the attraction is very nil. In about short two sentences, you can explain a photograph. People love stories, so remember to tell yours.